Welcome To The Fucking Gallovich Queer Club
by rentAgleek
Summary: Carl has kissed a boy, so he goes to see Ian and Mickey to help him through the confusion.


_**So this is an idea me and a couple of others were throwing around on tumblr so I decided to fic it. I posted it on tumblr and thought I'd put it here too...I'm thinking of maybe making a series of one shots based around this idea, but I'll put them as new chapters within this story so they're all in one place. Enjoy!**_

Carl paused at the door before pulling himself together and just knocking. Most people just walked right into the Milkovich household but he didn't feel like he could just do that. Mickey answered, looking dull and tired.

'Ian's inside. But he's the same as yesterday,' Mickey told him, standing back and letting Carl enter.

'Ok,' he said quietly, entering. Svetlana was sitting on the couch, Mandy curled into her shoulder and their bare, pale legs tangled together. Carl paused.

'What?' Mandy spat defiantly, but looking sort of guilty all the same, like she'd been caught or something.

Carl shook his head. 'This is…new,' he said.

'Stop gawking and go see Ian,' Svetlana barked.

'Calling him by his name now, are we?' Mickey asked.

Svetlana looked at him, almost apologetic. 'From now on. Yes.' Mickey nodded at her in thanks, eyes down. Then he looked to Carl, jerking his head in the direction of the hallway.

Carl made his way to Mickey's room. Inside, Ian's back was to him. It was starting to smell a little ripe, but nothing Carl wasn't used to after sharing a room with his brother for most of his life. He took off his shoes and coat, and sat on the bed beside Ian.

'Mick?' came Ian's muffled voice.

'No, it's Carl.'

'Oh.'

'Do you want Mickey?'

'No.'

'Ok.' They were silent for a few minutes. Finally, Carl began. 'I know you're not up for conversation. I just need to talk to someone. You don't have to say anything.' Nothing. 'Right. So, um. I think I like guys. I'm not gay. I'm not. There was this boy at school and we were getting changed after gym. And we'd been kept back by the teacher so it was just us. We weren't really talking and then he kissed me. Like, hard. On the mouth. And I liked it. I can't stop thinking about it. His lips. I don't know what to do…there's no-one to talk to. Not even you, not really. I know you're…you're like this, for now. But I figured you're gay and that's the closest thing I can find. Had to tell someone.' He'd been staring at his hands the whole time, but now he looked at his brother. Ian had rolled over and managed to look at him.

'You're crying,' Ian whispered.

'Oh,' Carl murmured, hurriedly wiping the tears he hadn't realised were falling. They were quiet for a moment.

'It's ok, you know that right?' it sounded like every word was an effort. He looked exhausted with each syllable. 'For me it's just guys. Maybe for you, it's both. That's fine,' he told him. 'Hey, come here,' he said, reaching an arm up slightly. Carl scooted over and let his brother hold him for a moment. 'Love you,' he murmured. 'Sorry I can't do more. Sorry.'

'Hang on, ok? Stay,' Carl told him, not really knowing what to say. He said what he wished he'd said to Monica. He kissed Ian's head and got off the bed. When he opened the door, he saw Mickey and Mandy stood outside. They'd been listening.

'Come on Gallagher,' Mandy said, steering him to the kitchen. 'Mick?'

'In a minute.' He went into Ian's room.

'What's he doing in there?' Carl asked.

'Sometimes he just lies there next to him. Talks to him. Sometimes Ian feels like talking too.' They got to the kitchen and Mandy poured him a coke.

'Am I in trouble?' he asked uncertainly.

She laughed. 'No.'

He drank a little. Then, 'did you hear everything I said?'

'Yes.' Carl's eyes widened. He wasn't sure how he felt about other people knowing. 'Look I know why you went to Ian but he can't be there for you, not completely, not right now. So I'll be here for you.'

'Why would you do that?'

'Because we're family,' she told him simply. 'And did you not see me with Lana in there? I know what you're feeling.'

'Yeah?'

'Yeah. You liked one thing your whole life because it was shoved relentlessly into your face and you never considered there could be something different? And one day someone comes along who changes everything? Sound familiar?'

'Oh.' Carl looked at her. 'Did your entire world explode too?'

She smiled. 'Yes. I guess it did.' Mickey came in and grabbed the coke. 'Mick heard too,' she clarified. He nodded and clapped Carl on the shoulder.

'Welcome to the fucking gallovich queer club,' he said sarcastically, swigging straight from the bottle.

'So am I bisexual?' Carl blurted out. Mickey considered him.

'Look, no-one else can tell you that. It's something you've got to figure out. And it sucks and it's terrifying, and there's no use denying shit or forcing yourself to fake being something you're not. That makes everything worse,' he told Carl.

Mandy hastily stepped in. 'Mickey's experience doesn't have to be your experience. It's not, ok, I'm going to make sure it's not. You can talk to me about this whenever. And Mickey.'

'Look,' Mickey said, coming to sit next to Carl, 'don't hate yourself. It's not worth it. And don't be scared for a second. When you let go of the fear and start actually living the way you're supposed to, that's when you'll be free.'

Carl nodded. 'Do you like how Ian smells?'

'What? What the fuck are you talking about?'

'Last week I asked Ian if he loved you. And he didn't really answer but he said he liked how you smelled.'

Mickey stared at the floor, the corners of his mouth twitching. 'Yeah, I…I like how he smells.'

'Cool.' Carl said.

'I have to do something,' Mickey said, pushing the chair back and practically running out of the kitchen and down the hall. Mandy grinned a little as she watched him leave.

'Look, Lip doesn't know. That I'm with Lana.' Mandy told him awkwardly.

'I won't say anything,' Carl assured her. 'But you'll have to tell him eventually.'

'I know. I know. I just need him to hear it from me.' Carl nodded. 'And speaking of Lip, he won't necessarily understand but he'll be cool with it. He was the first one to know about Ian.'

'I don't think I want my family to know. For a while.' Mandy nodded. 'Are…you bisexual?'

'I don't know. I just know I like Lana. She might just be a one-off, I don't know. And she doesn't…she doesn't hit me. Ever. That's kind of refreshing, I guess. The sex is different but it's good because I feel like we're equals. And we understand each other, and we understand each others bodies. I just feel really happy with her. Really happy,' she said, ducking her head and smiling to herself.

'I don't think Jake - the boy at school - I don't think he was a one-off.'

'And that's ok. You don't need to know exactly what you are right now anyway, you're thirteen. Sure some people your age have it figured out, but some of them won't be certain for years. It doesn't matter as long as you're not keeping everything bottled inside and being silent. Like I said, talk to me, talk to Mickey. Talk to Ian when he's better. And if there's times you can't talk about it, go on the internet. It's helpful, trust me. Wipe the history afterwards if you're worried. You aren't going to go through this alone. I'm not seeing this destroy you like it almost destroyed our brothers,' she told him firmly before hugging him tight.

'I shouldn't have written you off as a bitchy skank,' Carl apologised. She flipped him off but she was laughing. 'Thank you,' he said quietly.

'Anytime. I mean it.'

_**Please review!**_


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